21!

...can you do sum for me?

Dear 21,

You've locked me in your corner for the rest of the year. Personally, I would so love to go into the warm cocoons of 18. At least that's where I mentally think I'm at.

I’ve always been dually in awe and afraid of you since I was a wattpad reading adolescent (I would have said teenager but I was reading wattpad at 10). I mean all the characters in media: books or movies, at your age, always seem to have their shit together. They know what they want to be, where they want to go, and most importantly, who they are.

Meanwhile, my mother still monitors me while I take pills (so I don't throw them away. I’m an injection over pills person). I still drink caprisonnes and I’m out here eating with spoons and forks best suited for a three year old.

I don't know who I am. I barely know what I’m passionate about. Where I’ll be in the next few years? Let’s leave that up to fate. I go with the flow right now.

Which brings me to the purpose of this very public letter.

21, as I landed in your corner, I have a few requests:

1. Please be nice to unfocused little me.

2. Make sure I finish my first draft. Writing is the only thing I’m sure I'm passionate about. It's the only thing I know I still want to be doing for the rest of my life. It’s the thing that calms my head and gives me peace so please please please, make sure I finish this draft before we part ways.

3. Allow me to make mistakes without punishing me too much for them. I am afterall a babygirl and still learning.

4. Make sure I make decisions in my best interest. Decisions that will make me happy and peaceful. Let me enjoy being in your corner.

5. Let me keep my caprisonne drinking inner child. I don't want to change so please don't beat it out of me. I beg of you. Let me still see things with childlike wonder.

6. I have terrible memory so please slap me upside in the head when I’m being a bad friend. No more friend breakups of my own hand. Remind me to check up on my friends.

Now I hope all these aren't a lot for you to do. I just want to be the best version of myself this year. I have a lot of love to give. Both to myself and others.

Please don't be upset about your lack of a party. I’m at Ekiti NYSC camp. I had no choice but to move half your celebrations to 22. I’m sorry. This hurts me a thousand times more than it hurts you. I’m literally still mourning. It was supposed to be my first birthday at home since I was 9, and furthermore, it fell on a TGIF at work so I know I could have monopolized it. But our next Friday birthday is in six years so we wait till then.

I would have invited the younger corners (1 - 20) for a meet and greet but they would've asked questions unsuitable for public viewing. But I know they’re proud of how far I’ve gotten, the person I am and the person we’re growing up to be.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🎂