the one about the jerking danfo

Lagos is a funny place sha

I've been trying to write for like few days now. I've had a million ideas come across my mind but I've had a million and one hinderances. Ranging from the fact I lose my train of thought fast to mentally insisting on dispersing accurate information to being worried I'm oversharing to … (lost my train of thought here).

Anyway like every other hobby I have had, I'm worried I'll drop it halfway (I'll go back to crocheting, I promise). I just remembered the last part of the first paragraph. The last hinderance was trying to copy other people's writing styles and the fact it doesn't work for me. Like I have multiple half-written draft bordering on various topics but halfway I lose the spark. I don't want this to just be another thing I started and didn't follow through. But I don't also want it to be an obligation (I really hope that makes sense).

That being said, who else gets eerily diagnosed by TikTok when on that app late at night? Just me? Cool, cool, cool. Now while I was used to my behavioural patterns screaming mild ADHD and getting ADHD - I swear I just struggled to type this word. I typed AHDH multiple times because my brain was rushing - recommendations and common signs, last night, I got multiple Autism videos showing some of my behavioural patterns too (at a point, ten scrolls in a row were about autism common signs and behaviours).

I know what autism is, Sheldon Cooper and that guy from the Good Doctor (I think his name is Shawn) have it. But me? Mild Autism? I am nothing like them. I even saw a few combination posts. AuDHD kor. Yall are weird on that app fr (my fyp is back to book recommendations and Arcane, Ultraman (Kenji is soo fine) and Kpop edits, thank God).

Lagos is a very funny place sha (yes, this is how fast I change topics). Twice in a day I saw people crossing the express while under a pedestrian bridge. And this express had high partitions between the going and coming side but no, its better to run, scale a stomach length fence and risk your life than to climb a few steps. But what do I know?

Still on the nuances of Lagos, I entered a bus this morning that was jerking to a stop every two minutes. Granted the bus was fine when I entered the bus, but like a kilometer after when they stopped to pick someone up, the bus staggered to a halt. I assumed it was fuel issues. The driver and conductor assured us that it was fine, we went on our merry way jerkily (I forgot to state if this was a NSFW account, so I'll just say, imagine riding a mechanical bull).

Now we were headed to Yaba from that Gbagada side, all passengers managing the riding motion (oh the actual thoughts in my head), then the driver missed the last turn to Ikorodu road and drove towards Oshodi. Immediately all passengers started screaming. I had my headphones in, daydreaming, already late to work (like there's no difference between a minute and an hour, if I'm late I'm late).

This guy drove us to a filling station and stopped. No he did not pick up fuel. Why did he take us there? I have no idea, I was deep in my hazy music induced daydream to care. Everyone got out of the bus. Passengers yelling. Conductor yelling. Bus driver smiling and trying to mediate the issue. Chineme just staring into thin air, daydreaming, waiting for when the bus drama will end and we'll continue going cause that was my only transport money (I had more money, I have just been infected with Lagos strong head).

Someone shouted, "Find another bus!". Ma'am, we're in a filling station, and it's half empty. Another person shouted, "You should not be treating people this way. I should know, my dad was a driver." Okay and? Anyway after shouting, we all piled back inside that same rickety mechanical bull of a bus and continued on our merry way due to some inner roads (see, Lagos is just a circle). Oh, and I forgot to add, the driver and conductor swapped places.

You would think with a riding coughing bus, the conductor/driver and driver/conductor would just drop us all off at our destinations, but no, they stopped at every stop possible to pick up more customers (honestly, I respected the grind, chase that bag guys). A woman backing a baby got into an argument with the conductor/driver, screaming she had places to be and she was late. The driver/conductor just warmly told her that her baby was still asleep while yelling bus stop locations. Passengers trying to calm her down. The lady beside me just finding amusement in everything. Chineme looking at nothing in particular on the road, daydreaming (we thank God for fully charged airpods).

We got to Yaba, the conductor/driver leaned into a curb, scratching the side of the bus for like ten seconds, because he was looking and talking to the driver/conductor. Pedestrians jumping out of the way and yelling expletives. Most people got off the bus after the conductor/driver managed to stop the bus. Then I finally saw the perfect moment to remind the conductor/driver that he had been owing me money from when he was still the conductor (a girl hates confrontation, sue me. I literally hype myself up before yelling ‘owa’. and I still don’t do it loud enough most times). He gave me my change save for hundred naira and had the balls to claim that he'll give me when we see each other again. People in Lagos love to crack jokes.

Anyway, a little over an hour after I left my home bus-stop, I got to my office. Last I saw of the hacking body of metal, the driver and the conductor were still calling out bus stops, managing the bus the way it was. The grind is real.

On a regular day, this incident would piss me off, but such is the wonders of music and daydream. So the morals of the story are, know road small so they will not carry you away, never leave home without your airpods and always stay daydreaming.

Did I just type this out and add the topic after? Yes. Once again, sue me.