The death of "private" kinks

Keyword being PRIVATE!!!

PLEASE LET’S BRING BACK SHAME AND SECRECY

(This was written with me lying on the floor of my bedroom, pillow under my head, legs on a chair. It’s real comfortable, y’all should try it)

I watched a video on tiktok the other day (like a month ago, not exactly sure). It was like an invitation to a secret society where men are masked and women are chased until they’re caught and after, the men will take the women (I kid you not those were the words used)

I didn’t place that brick (okay maybe a smidge), so I don’t know how I got that.

As usual when a video falls into the wrong hands on tiktok, the comment section rips it apart and this one did not disappoint. The video was torn to shreds. People saying it was disgusting, others saying it takes us back years, people blaming booktok people and dark romance readers.

Honestly, I felt offended, cause people actually have this kinks and this seemed like a safe—albeit cringy advertisement—place to explore these kinks. Also, I’m a strong dark romance reader and I refused to be shamed into not liking the genre.

Then I wondered, why so mean? So disgusted?

It hit me. Kinks are a hushhush topic. That’s why dark romance gets hate everyday. People don’t understand the comfort in depravity and then shame it.

Because here’s the thing: kink is uncomfortable for the uninitiated, and that discomfort often turns into mockery.

But kink isn’t the problem. The lack of discretion is.

Somewhere along the way, we forgot that not everything needs to be public knowledge. Not every desire, every fantasy, needs to be shared.

The same way you won’t go and tell someone you just met your deepest secrets is the same way you shouldn’t be posting on the internet that you like to be choked or tied up or chased.

As a community, we have collectively lost the concept of shame and secrecy. Not everything has to be known. Not everything has to be said.

Furries now, we get you like behaving like an animal, but can that be kept for the bedroom and not public spaces. There are kids outside, thank you.

(I am losing feeling in my legs, since, yunno, it’s higher than the rest of my body)

And it’s the lack of this shame, this secrecy, that is partially killing fanfiction culture. Granted some people don’t have etiquette but still.

I am an avid fanfiction reader (I consume dramione and joshaya like crack). I have websites and archives that I read fanfiction on. These sites used to be shamed, hidden, for the type of content on there. It was like a community where you could be as weird as you wanted and you would still find your people.

But with tiktok and other social media platforms becoming mainstream, people are taking fanfiction writing mainstream too.

So much so that people are invading these kinky as hell fan spaces and demanding change. Demanding censorship. Screaming that someone shouldn’t be writing about Elsa and Jack Frost fucking their brains off because they’re from different franchises. Saying that Tony Stark and Captain America having a dom/sub relationship is unrealistic.

Yeah, it probably is. But that’s the point.

Fanfiction wasn’t supposed to be realistic. It was supposed to be indulgent. Shameful. Wild. Private.

(my legs have joined the rest of my body on the ground)

I read a book—technically this is my default state—that the main characters got together simply because they had the similar bedroom kinks. The book was cute but pissed me off because the author refused to add any kinks despite basing her entire book around it.

I swear to God the most he did was choke her and command her.

Where are the ropes? the handcuffs? all the things both of you talked about before actually having sex. There was a list. Was the list forgotten?

Rightfully so, I was angry with the author for her bait-and-switch but then it had me thinking. Why? Is she so vanilla that choking is kinky to her? Was she afraid of mainstream reception?

Maybe. Especially since she used to write fanfiction so I can’t tag her as innocent minded. But I think she respected her audience and kept her freak flag on the down low.

And despite how angry I was, I respected it. Some things aren’t meant to be given away. This is why Elite clubs exist, you know whoever is there is as weird as you are. It allows you to shed that mask you’re hiding from the world.

So yeah. PLEASE. Let’s bring back shame. Let’s bring back secrecy.

Some things aren’t meant for everyone. And that’s okay.

I’m not sure this is a cohesive read but cohesiveness is not what keeps me going, it’s passion and I’m passionate so people will stop posting their dark romance novels online so that people can stop shaming me for reading them.

Also I don’t care for cohesiveness cause I had to choke this out of myself. At least it’s out in the world now.

Clap for me I posted.

If you see any typos, no you didn’t.