Some Nigerian Men need to either be re-educated or burnt
on teenage sex and responsibility
I'm on my way home.
The driver was listening to the radio and I decided to pay attention when my interest was piqued hearing that a pair of nineteen year olds had sex, the girl got pregnant and gave birth to. not one or two, but three kids.
Yes triplets.
As the guy saw, he ran away. His and his family blocked her and her family’s numbers. They are now unreachable claiming the girl wants to spoil the boy’s life.
The triplets are now in the NICU and the family needs money to pay for the babe to be discharged.
A whopping 1.2 million naira.
Then the radio host asked what the viewers suggest they should do.
Some mentioned finding the guy's family and forcing him to take responsibility. Some said they must marry. One said since he could have sex, he is now a father and should step up. One even said that if he doesn't step up they should arrest him. Another mentioned giving up the kids for adoption.
I had started typing the entire thing wanting to talk about the issue and wondering why they didn't go the abortion route because abortions are cheaper than birthing and taking care of the child(or in this case, children).
Like why did y’all allow this babe to give birth knowing there were no means for childcare? Y’all are literally begging for discharge fees. What of pampers, wipes, clothes? Do you know how much Cerelac is? Immunization?
Did they think at all?
Then one stupid man called the radio station and my reason for typing this immediately shifted.
This man said he was calling from third mainland bridge. In my mind, I was like okay, so you're on your way back from work. And rich enough to drive meaning you’re educated.
I sat waiting for his take.
Then he opened his mouth.
"Why are we focusing our attention on the boy? Let's focus on the girl. She was probably the one who chased this boy and now see what has happened "
EXCUSE ME?
Where the fuck did you get that from? Where in this story did their lives before the arrival of the triplets come up? What kind of stupid talk is that?
The man then had the nerve to say that instead of arresting the boy, they should call the church to intervene (God save my people from religious psychosis).
That the church should go to his family and beg him to come and take care of his children. And that if the boy doesn't agree, the church should step up and take care of the girl and her babies.
While I might agree with asking the church to help, it’s another thing to just completely throw all the responsibility to the church.
What do you mean church should step up? Why don’t you step up Mr calling-from-third-mainland?
I was still reeling from annoyance at a random stranger and his “chase” comment when another man hopped on the call saying “Why are nineteen year olds having sex? But now that it has happened, triplets are rare, government should praise and regale them and take care of the triplets.”
Let’s unpack shall we?
With a quick research, it is so easy to see that Nigeria ranks between 8th and 10th in the world rankings of average age to lose virginity, with the average age being between 191 and 202.
Considering this data is a bit outdated (circa 2023), it’s safe to say that this age would currently be a bit lower due to social media influence and the fact that children are gaining access to the internet, younger and younger.
So safe to say that at nineteen, a large proportion of Nigerian teenagers have probably had sex for the first time. Nineteen, in this day and age isn’t too young to have sex. They aren’t outliers. It isn’t strange occurrence.
(Objectively, do I think nineteen year olds should be having sex? As long as they’re practicing safe sex and are properly educated on the matter, why not?)
Now that that is settled (I really don’t want to get into Nigeria’s purity culture now but I have seen the Twitter debate and yes I agree, Virginity is a social construct), which government do you think should carry the responsibility? This one?
*Laughs in Swahili*
Then one idiot named Prince called in and said “Shey she wasn't raped or assaulted, he owes no responsibility to her and his kids. He has full right to block her and live his life.”
*Swahili laugh changes to hot violent anger*
Someone get me out of here
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN???
They were two consenting adults, they knew the risks, how does he get an escape from the repercussions?
The fact that the radio host was visibly irritated and politely asked him off the call, claiming commercial break, said enough.
How does he have full right? Is that the type of person you are Prince? Do you deflect responsibility too? Do you have a kid that you’re deadbeat to? Or have you justified your father not being in your life and thrown all the blame to your poor mother who had to raise a pathetic excuse of a human that you are?
I stopped listening after that (mostly because I got home) but also out of sheer annoyance, cause I refuse to let someone I don’t know invoke violence tendencies out of me.
People did give legitimate advice sha. Many mentions of counselling. One lady even called in solely to ask how the babe is doing after her birth of triplets hoping there were no complications.
Someone even sent 400k to the account number provided.
Me personally, I got three things from the entire discussion.
One, as much as I might try to avoid it, some Nigerian men don’t have sense. I can pretend as much as I want but a lot of men (and women) need to either be brainwashed and re-educated or burnt at the stake.
Two, I don’t know what method those two used (whether pullout, condom or plan B) but if you want to have sex, be educated, safe and protected please. God has a cute little habit of giving multiple children to people who aren’t looking for them.
Three, I know there are quacks but abortion fees are wayyy cheaper than total childcare expenditure. If you can’t afford children, please for the love of God, don’t have them. See Ginny from Ginny and Georgia for example, she got rid of that embryo quick.
As someone that listens to the radio a lot, trust me Nigerian radio is not what you want to be listening to if you want to keep sane😂.
There's an entire generation with their weird ass archaic beliefs on there.
An abortion is a medical procedure first of all, it's simply that
It's your choice to choose whether you think it's bad or not
But I find it crazy that you're asking about her dying, as if the author didn't clearly speak about the procedure not being carried out by quacks.
Second of all, don't you think that there was a higher chance of her dying from a triplet pregnancy where there was no money on ground to take care of the kids, not to talk of complications in childbirth.
I'm honestly still forming my own opinions on abortion and all
But one thing I know is that if you're not financially or emotionally capable to have a child and take care of that child, Do not bring that child into the world.
If we don't address the root of any problem then we aren't ready to solve it.
The root problem isn't abortion or even having the children sef
The root problem is unprotected sex, lack of access to good healthcare, purity culture, a lack of responsibility and shame surrounding sex.
Lastly, the boy isn't the only problem, his family is a bigger problem, because tell me why they're hiding a father of 3 like he wasn't there when they were conceived.
This country sha